Marital unions with Japanese men are very unique; each country has its own categories of men with individual characters, different social status, and different goals in life. Dating with men from the Land of the Rising Sun most often happens online these days. On international dating sites, such as this dating site for foreigners R4B, men from Japan meet women from the Russian Federation, Ukraine and other Slavic countries.
The difference between a real samurai and our compatriot is his complex and multifaceted character. Brought up in strict conditions, men become independent early on; they quickly learn to earn money, build a career, and form strong families.
What it takes to successfully meet Japanese men
Japanese gentlemen are often pedants, they are firm in their intentions regarding a girl or woman, quickly approach each other, love openness and positive feelings, and at the same time hate sycophancy, lack of faith, do not like pretentious behavior and lack of housekeeping skills. Nowadays it is possible to marry a Japanese man, but not every girl or woman will agree to such a tandem, preferring marriage to the same German.
More often than not, girls want only a variety of life from such relationships; for them, a Japanese man is exotic, and only a small percentage of Russian or Ukrainian girls marry a Japanese man for love.
At the initial stage of dating, the girl registers on an international dating site, preferably a premium one, then during the consideration of the application for the profile, the site moderators provide options for profiles of men from Japan, after which the girl chooses a man and writes him a letter in which she describes herself and her wishes , and tries to start a conversation with the gentleman he likes. In such correspondence or conversations, Japanese men are not verbose. Most often, they communicate in English with their chosen one, drinking sake in their cozy houses. "Konnichiwa" - hello!
A woman should know English perfectly, or partially communicate in Japanese. A very developed country, Japan, attracts the attention of many girls and women from Europe and Slavic countries. Local men, their culture of communication and other features are valued by women; such couples usually get along very quickly, while the girl does not set narrowly selfish goals for herself, but more often seeks the fulfillment of relationships in an eastern country.
Very few girls and women marry a Japanese man in our country; their specific culture and peculiarities of upbringing and communication impose certain specific restrictions on the possibility of communication; pitfalls constantly arise that confuse both residents of different countries. The different cultures of the Japanese and Slavic peoples interfere with communication and mutually beneficial development.
Dating Japanese men online does not necessarily oblige you to get married. Communication on the Internet is only the background to the beginning of a romantic period in the life of a couple. Women in such couples are followers, and the man, as a real breadwinner, takes all the worries and problems upon himself. The difficulty of communicating with the Japanese also lies in their secrecy; only at the stage of personal acquaintance can a woman understand the character of a Japanese man, get to know him in more detail, then he shows his character in everyday situations, in practice.
So, initially during communication, experts recommend that both partners use various advanced tests for character compatibility, ability to communicate, and other examples. At the same time, people learn a lot of new things about their partner, they open up, draw their own conclusions about extending the relationship or abandoning it.
Japanese hair color
The usual natural hair color for Japanese people is, of course, black. Long black hair was a sign of female beauty during the Heian era (794-1192), when Japan developed its own cultural tastes. This aesthetic ideal did not lose its strength until recently, and only a few years ago the passion for dyeing hair began to seize women and teenagers. Using dye to make gray hair look black is, of course, nothing new.
But dying your hair any other color was generally frowned upon, especially since schools and companies had rules against it for years. However, it has now become common to dye your hair brown, and “blonde” hair is now not uncommon in Japan. Unusual colors such as green, purple and pink are growing in popularity, which used to raise eyebrows in amazement.
What disadvantages can most hinder life with a Japanese man?
Ardent opponents of marriages with Japanese cite the following arguments in their favor:
- Japan is a country very far from Russia in its mentality and attitude towards life in general;
- The men of this country advocate unequal relationships and cannot treat their Slavic wives with due respect;
- Japanese is a very difficult language to learn, unlike English;
- Japanese cuisine and the entire way of life in this country are radically different from what we are used to in Russia or Ukraine;
- If you marry a Japanese man, you will definitely be forced to wear a kimono and drink sake every day.
What hair color do Japanese people have?
What hair color do Japanese people have? Traditionally, Asian people have predominantly black hair, and the Japanese are no exception. Japanese hair is mostly dark in color with various shades. It is very rare that Japanese people are born albino and have light-colored hair. The Japanese, like all races of humanity, can change their hair color by dyeing it any color.
Traditionally, Asian peoples have predominantly black hair, and the Japanese are no exception.
Dark hair and eyes harmonize with dark skin, the shade of which is perfectly adapted to the climate of the land of the rising sun. Japanese hair can withstand the climate of this country; it remains shiny and well-groomed in any weather. This is especially noticeable for women - Japanese ladies have always been considered the standard of style and personal care.
The benefits of living together with a Japanese man
Only a few Russian and Ukrainian ladies marry a Japanese man, but all such tandems are happy, they live happily in Japan, raise children, and are expecting grandchildren. Japanese men highly respect the cult of family; their upbringing gave them the basis in which the Japanese always extol children, do not offend them, keep them in abundance and take care of them every day.
A Slavic woman married to such a life partner always has many privileges; in modern Japan she may not obey some laws, may not accept her husband’s faith, but remain a Christian, develop in terms of her career, run a household, and have equal rights with her husband. Divorce and separation from a Japanese man is usually painless; during the divorce, the children remain with the mother, and the man pays a monthly allowance for each child depending on his income. Compliance with these laws is especially strictly monitored in Tokyo.
The infrastructure of this Asian country is very developed; young families often visit theaters, cafes, bars, restaurants, cinemas and other public institutions. A variety of hobbies and other benefits of civilization allowed Japanese men to fully relax after a hard day of work. Women with Japanese men feel relaxed, they have a positive attitude towards marriage, honor their traditions, but do not impose their point of view.
Marrying a Japanese man means experiencing the beauty of a relationship with an oriental man. Their tetsugaku philosophy of life and principles of judgment are always very pure, noble and sublime. Their ideological basis is Confucianism. A woman from a Slavic state is positively disposed to marry a Japanese man, and all her and his relatives support such a union.
Love and bright feelings, care and comfort in the home - all this is about a relationship with a Japanese man. Any resident of the Russian Federation, Ukraine, Belarus can try to create a tandem with this incredible person and improve their life in another country.
Meeting these Asian beauties online is always extraordinary, and not every woman can handle such adrenaline and influx of feelings, so we should evaluate all the pros and cons of dating Japanese in advance. Marriage to a Japanese man is a very responsible step, and after weighing all the advantages of a man, in each individual case a woman receives the answer to all her questions on her own, although sometimes you can call for help and advice from psychologists.
You can start a family with a Japanese man at any age; the main criterion should be mutual understanding and the expression of love between the couple, despite many years of living together. Such families live in perfect marriage and raise children, then grandchildren - in Japan and abroad.
Married to a Japanese man
If you want to settle in Japan, you can marry a Japanese man or receive an invitation from employers from the land of the rising sun. But even these conditions will not make you a full-fledged citizen of Japan. But the experience of living in this unique country will become the main impression in life - our compatriot Svetlana is sure.
Japan is the only empire in the world. In addition, the dynasty of emperors in the country was never interrupted. The current emperor is a direct descendant of the first emperor who founded Japan long before our era.
In Japan, almost 100% of the population is Japanese. Foreigners, for obvious reasons, are immediately visible. European appearance and blond hair are considered a curiosity here. Svetlana admits that here you often feel like a monkey from the beach of the Azov Sea - when Japanese teenagers see a European, they can easily come up to take a photo. If you can still say a few words in Japanese, you will be applauded. But the increased attention to foreigners is limited to this. The Japanese are always happy to see tourists, but they are extremely reluctant to let “pale-faced” people into their world.
The people most disliked in Japan are dark-skinned people, Koreans and Chinese. And everyone who was not born Japanese is considered an outsider, even if the foreigner renounced his citizenship and became officially Japanese.
You don't need to look far for examples. The word "fool" in Japanese is "baka", and literally translates as "stupid person". A foreigner (literally a stranger) is a “gaijin.” The phrase "Baka-gaijin" in Japanese means... American.
The Japanese even have a saying that emphasizes nationalism: “How many centuries does it take for a Korean family to become Japanese? “Not at all—they will always be Koreans.”
Language is the basis of everything
No matter how many languages you know, they are unlikely to be useful to you in Japan. Absolutely all documents, checks, and even payments are filled out exclusively in Japanese and are not duplicated in other languages. Without knowing Japanese it is impossible to find a normal job.
By the way, the genetics of the Japanese language have still not been clarified. Some scientists find similarities in it with the Korean language, others believe that it belongs to the group of Altai languages, but by and large it is isolated. In fact, it is not at all easy to learn it passably. Hieroglyphs mixed with the syllabary alphabets of katakana and hiragana, flavored with Latin letters to indicate abbreviations - this, according to our heroine, is a real combustible mixture.
Family house building
In general, almost half of married couples in Japan are formed thanks to bridesmaids organized by their parents. Indeed, the older generation is treated with special respect here. The husband will always listen to his mother. And if you become the wife of your eldest son, you are almost guaranteed to have to live with your husband’s parents.
Despite their moral dependence on their parents, the Japanese rarely maintain close relationships with their siblings. There are cases when, for example, blood brothers do not even know each other’s mobile numbers and do not visit each other.
By the way, visiting people in Japan is also not particularly common. According to Svetlana, if the invitation “come visit sometime” is nothing more than a polite gesture. With this meaning, we are usually asked “how are you?” from a stranger.
But the attitude towards marriage in the country is very serious. Young people get married after 30, and try to have children even later. Slavic brides need to know that the Japanese are very shy - you should not expect Mexican passions from a Japanese husband, as well as daily declarations of love. But if a Japanese person said “I love you,” then this is the true truth. These words imply feelings, devotion, responsibility and real plans for a long life together. And this is very serious. In Japan, words are not thrown around.
Hieroglyphs connected us...
Svetlana has lived in Japan for 7 years, 4 of which she has been married to Koji. Before meeting him, our heroine worked in Japan for a couple of years and knew the Japanese language tolerably. Then the girl returned to Ukraine, and when she was offered a lucrative contract in Japan, one of the conditions was good knowledge of the language. Then her friends introduced her to Koji, who promised to work out with Svetlana. Six months later, the girl received the coveted job, and at the same time a declaration of love from a Japanese tutor. Immediately after the confession, an acquaintance with the groom's parents followed. According to Svetlana, Koji was very worried about how his father and mother would react to his choice. The idea of having a foreign daughter-in-law did not particularly appeal to the parents, who had long ago found a Japanese wife for their son. But the fact that Svetlana has a job in the country, and her son is crazy about a Ukrainian woman, forced her to give a sincere blessing. Svetlana herself assures that she behaved naturally at the show - she helped clear the table, and asked the future one the secrets of preparing Koji’s favorite Japanese dishes.
According to Svetlana, her Japanese mother-in-law still communicates with her with emphatic politeness, and is always sincerely interested in what to give the girl for the holiday. And if he wants to make a remark, he unobtrusively tells some examples from the lives of acquaintances and friends, making it clear his attitude to the situation. However, they see each other only a few times a year, and communicate on the phone a maximum of a couple of times a month.
Gallantry according to books
Slavic and European women for Japanese men are women from another planet. The Japanese do not know how to care for these unearthly ladies. And therefore, according to Svetlana, they comprehend the science of seduction from films and books. As a result, the Japanese turn out to be true gentlemen who make chic gestures and look after very beautifully, since they use the most striking actions of movie and book heroes as an example, sincerely believing that this is how ordinary men behave in European countries.
Japanese wife's position
The first thing Svetlana had to face in her marriage to a Japanese man was the cult of work. Of course, she already knew that for the Japanese, work is the main task and goal in life. But when your beloved husband leaves for the enterprise long before the start of the working day (it’s bad form to arrive on time), and stays late in the evening, this is difficult.
By the way, family outings are rare in Japan. Mostly, spouses go out separately. Often during work, men relax with friends separately, and Japanese wives take this for granted. The only day when the family goes out somewhere together is Sunday and holidays.
Accordingly, the biggest problem in Japanese families is not scandals due to lack of mutual understanding, but alienation from each other. A husband will never tell his wife that she is doing something wrong. He will worry and endure, but he won’t dare to talk. Therefore, the main qualities that a Japanese wife should have are sensitivity and delicacy. Svetlana still never tires of admiring the relationship between her mother-in-law and father-in-law - they understand each other by look and gesture, and truly form one whole. The spiritual closeness that reigns between this couple seems to be in the air,” the girl says with admiration. Long and continuous silence in the country is considered the first sign of respect and even admiration for the interlocutor.
In Japan, like no other country in the world, a sense of responsibility is cultivated, which, according to Svetlana, fortunately extends not only to work. Therefore, being the wife of a Japanese man, a woman can be guaranteed to have confidence in the future and a calm course of a stable life.
Having become the wife of a Japanese man, and even having received Japanese citizenship, a foreign woman will still not become a full-fledged Japanese woman. Throughout your life, according to Svetlana, you will be presented as the wife of such and such a gentleman.
In case of divorce, the child remains to live in Japan, regardless of which of his parents is a native resident of the country. In addition, the foreign spouse is deprived of all part of the property acquired during marriage. And if the foreign spouse has not become a citizen of the country and does not have a residence permit, then after the divorce he must leave Japan no later than a month later.
Work 'till death
According to our heroine, the Japanese are crazy workaholics. Working 10-15 hours a day without a break is common for them. Taking a vacation in the country is considered almost bad form. All this does not always have a positive effect on the health of citizens of the land of the rising sun. The Japanese language even has a special word, “karoshi,” which means “death from overwork.” More than 10,000 Japanese die from this diagnosis every year.
Another 30,000 Japanese commit suicide every year. And a good half go to the next world due to failures at work or financial difficulties.
Personal achievements don't mean anything in Japan. It is worth remembering that a person is just part of a team. This means that it is indecent to leave work, even if, unlike your colleagues, you have completely completed your workload. In fact, excessive initiative is not welcomed here either. If the project fails, absolutely all employees are to blame - from the boss to the cleaning lady.
Salary: equal for everyone
When university graduates get a job, they initially receive the same salary. $2,000 is paid to bachelor's degree holders, and $2,500 to master's degree holders.
Then every year the salary increases by 10%. After only 5-10 years, a Japanese person receives some kind of leadership position and for the rest of his life moves steadily upward along the career ladder.
Japanese managers spare no expense in paying workers for travel to and from work, even if the employee lives in another city. By the way, the Japanese are in such a hurry to get to work that there is even a special profession for pushers in the subway. These people push people into crowded carriages and make sure the doors are closed.
If a Japanese person gets sick, he just needs to notify his superiors by phone. True, according to Svetlana, there are very few such cases. They go to work with a cold and fever. In Japan there is an unspoken rule: if a person can get to the doctor, then he can get to work. In Svetlana’s memory, there are only 2 cases when employees did not come to work - one had an accident and ended up on the operating table, the second died...
But it is not all that bad. Many Japanese do not need a vacation; the country has many holidays, which, like in Ukraine, are added to the weekend. 3-4 days off for the Japanese is a whole vacation. During the New Year and May holidays, the Japanese take a week off. In August, there is a memorial week in Japan, when companies also close for 7 days, and the Japanese travel around the country to visit the graves of relatives.
Foreign employee as a modern gadget
Svetlana assures that in Japan they will always hire a Japanese person first, an Asian as a last resort, and last but not least a foreigner. The only exceptions are the educational and IT spheres. But even here the Slavs have great competition with the Americans and Canadians.
In addition, the maximum salary of a foreigner does not exceed $1,500. The easiest way to find work is in the service sector: models, bartenders, waiters and workers on attractions are always needed. True, without knowledge of spoken Japanese, this path is closed for foreigners.
Some companies may hire a foreigner to show off to their competitors. Svetlana compares this position to the boss’s beautiful secretary in post-Soviet countries. A foreigner will be entrusted with some insignificant amount of work, but will be taken with him to all presentations and meetings.
Working without a pension
Is it worth complaining about Ukrainian pensions if in Japan there is practically no such thing as a pension! By law, the Japanese must work as long as they are physically able - employment contracts are concluded for life. The Japanese are supposed to worry about their own old age. And if that doesn’t work out, the maximum amount of social benefits is about $300.
In general, you can retire at 65, but if you retire at 60, you will only receive a quarter of the pension. Young politicians constantly propose the concept of a retirement age of up to 70 years, due to the fact that Japan is a country of long-livers. 90-year-olds are a common sight here. In addition, few people are ready to quit working at 65 years old.
How do the Japanese spend money?
The average annual income of a Japanese family is about $35,000. A quarter of this amount goes to rent and utility costs. Locals can take part in a profitable mortgage and purchase housing at 1% per annum, which can be repaid over 100 years. By the way, buying a home in the country can significantly help in obtaining citizenship. Products in the country are not at all cheap, but usually no more than a quarter of the family budget is spent on them.
The Japanese also love to relax and do not skimp on visiting cafes and restaurants, especially since the prices for such leisure activities in Japan are quite acceptable. And of course there are sales, although the difference, according to Svetlana, is that while Europeans are buying new clothing collections, the Japanese are simply “obsessed” with various gadgets.
Prepare me some borscht!
Svetlana admits that sometimes it seems to her that Koji married her only for the sake of Ukrainian cuisine. No matter how much the girl spent the first time in the kitchen, learning all the secrets of making sushi, miso soup and teriyaki chicken, after eating her husband, with a prayer in his eyes, asked her to cook borscht or make dumplings. For Koji, pea soup is a delicacy that he is ready to eat every day. And having tried sauerkraut in Ukraine, he asks to serve it as the main holiday dish.
But according to Svetlana, such culinary preferences for the Japanese are rather the exception and the rule. During all the years of living in Japan, Svetlana never got used to the fact that dolphins are eaten in the country, they are made into soup, shish kebab, and eaten raw. According to our heroine, dolphin meat is not at all like fish.
The cheapest food in Japan is seafood, and the most expensive is fruit. Square watermelons and melons can cost more than $1,000 per kilogram.
In general, the Japanese do not like spices, but generously sprinkle soy sauce on any dish. For breakfast they eat rice and beans, but, contrary to popular belief, they don’t like sushi very much.
Probably thanks to proper nutrition, the Japanese are distinguished by their slender figures, the bodies of sumo wrestlers evoke admiration, and the curvaceous figures of ladies attract attention. By the way, the mother-in-law constantly advises Svetlana to eat more and gain weight - they say, since her son got a Ukrainian wife, she should be the envy of everyone.
Horseradish flavored chocolate
If you come across horseradish-flavored chocolate, carbonated tomato juice or cucumber-flavored cola on Japanese shelves, don’t be surprised; the Japanese know a lot about culinary perversions. The Slavs, according to Svetlana, are not able to appreciate such piquancy.
As for alcohol, the traditional rice vodka in Japan is more similar to beer in production technology. Beer is sold in glass bottles, which must be returned to the store. The Japanese cannot drink - after a few glasses they turn red and get drunk. You rarely meet a Japanese who can drink on par with a Ukrainian, but according to our heroine, such people still exist...
Eggs from a machine
Technological progress is the Japanese “everything”. There are about 6,000 vending machines in Japan where you can buy chips, sweets, magazines, eggs, rice, toilet paper and even a bouquet of flowers. The Japanese are proud of their achievements, and for people who do not speak Japanese, this contactless shopping method is very convenient.
And the Japanese are constantly striving to improve themselves - they came up with changing the shape of their foreheads, and guys buy false chest hair to appear more courageous.
Nameless streets and the ban on the number 4
Interestingly, Japan does not have street names, but instead uses block numbers. On the one hand, according to Svetlana, it is more convenient to navigate on a map and easier to remember landmarks, but on the other hand, the country is deprived of the romance, history and originality that beautiful names convey to cities.
Speaking of numbers, in Japan it is considered officially unlucky. If you write it in hieroglyphs, you get the word “death,” so you won’t find room No. 4 in any institution!
House like cardboard
According to Svetlana, housing in Japan is small, flimsy and incredibly expensive. At best, the bedroom can accommodate a bed (and only a bed); at worst, due to the small area, the Japanese sleep on the floor. The hallway is replaced by a threshold, the bathrooms are sit-down, and in the kitchen there is almost doll-like kitchen furniture. Soviet Khrushchev apartments, according to our heroine, are just mansions compared to the average Japanese apartment. At the same time, the Japanese value personal space very much, so everyone should have their own room, even if it is the size of your nose. A 4-room apartment is 50 square meters. Well, it’s like a mini-Khrushchev,” Svetlana laughs.
But to rent an apartment, you need to initially pay $7,000 in case you break something. A foreigner can rent an apartment only with the guarantee of a Japanese person. In a rented apartment, you can’t not only change the wallpaper, but even hang pictures, and of course, have parties. Monthly rent costs about $1,500. Let us remind you that foreigners in Japan simply no longer receive…
Only very wealthy people can buy housing. A spacious two-room apartment costs about 500 thousand dollars. Such real estate prices are dictated by the shortage of land. Houses are built right next to each other, and utility costs “eat up” the lion’s share of the family budget. You can relax in the bathroom on a very trusting basis - with the whole family without taking turns draining the water. And starting with the older family members.
The houses are built, to put it mildly, lightweight - from plywood, with single-pane windows. Since earthquakes often occur in the country, it is believed that it is easier to get a person out from under a piece of plywood than from under a solid slab. There is no heating in the houses; in the coldest days the temperature can drop to 3 degrees below zero at night. That’s why the Japanese warm themselves with a variety of “dummers,” fireplaces and split systems.
Adopt a man!
When we talk about adoption, everyone thinks of an infertile couple and a child. Japan is ahead of the rest here too - adult men are adopted in the country. The reasons for this phenomenon are quite pragmatic. Firstly, a man is the successor of the family, and if there are only daughters in the family, he can pass on the surname. Secondly, an adult man can contribute to the family budget - if the family is not rich, or become a successor to the family business. By the way, wealthy Japanese often adopt adult men if they do not see the ability to run a business in their legal heirs and do not want to leave their corporations to them.
Halfa's children
Half-breed children are born from mixed marriages. As a rule, they are very beautiful in appearance, for which in adolescence they are discriminated against among their peers. And according to Svetlana, the point is not envy, but the fact that such children are not like everyone else, and in Japan being like everyone else is a vital necessity.
But with age, Halfa children understand that they have more advantages - a broader horizon, knowledge of several languages and cultures. And this is very important, because even with English the Japanese have obvious problems, even though it is taught in all schools. Therefore, halfa people in the country have much greater growth prospects and ways to earn extra money.
In a word, Japan is a very interesting country, with a unique and unique history. If you dream of stability, are crazy about Japanese cuisine and culture, and are ready to fight for your dream, you can confidently conquer the peaks, and you will definitely never regret your choice, Svetlana is sure.
Help about Japan
The name of the country literally translates as “place of sunrise.” Japan is washed by the Sea of Okhotsk and the East China Sea. The archipelago on which the country is located consists of 6,852 islands. The highest point in the country is Fuji (almost four thousand meters). Population: more than 127.34 million people. This Asian country has a very high PPP (purchasing power parity) - the third in the world. Life expectancy is more than 82 years, infant mortality and disability are among the lowest in the world.
Japanese people with white hair
The country's largest manufacturer of hair dyes, Hoyu Hair Coloring, found in one study that in 2001, 68% of Japanese women dyed their hair. Just five years ago, in 1996, it seemed like only 30 percent. The study also found that even men—more than 20 percent of them—dyed their hair in 2001. In other words, almost half of all Japanese people dyed their hair this year. And their number is expected to grow. What is the main reason for this craze? You can point to media and sports stars, especially football players. In a world where talent is so important, performers play up their own personality and appearance in every possible way to enhance the effect.
Naito Kumiko - hair color consultant; she also conducts research for the Association of Professional Cosmetologists. According to her, the mania began in 1994. “We noticed the first signs in the early 90s, and the cosmetics industry decided to help it grow. Cosmetologists began offering new hair colors to their clients, and the industry as a whole undertook a massive advertising campaign using various media.” Manufacturers have gotten involved, offering new dyes and products that cause minimal damage to hair. People who were wary of hair dyes or wary of unwanted results soon dyed their hair and were happy.
Long gone are the days when dyed hair was looked upon with disapproval, or at least with amazement. “The 90s,” says Naito, “brought radical changes to the Japanese lifestyle and their sense of beauty. In Japan, the 90s are called the decade of promoting individuality. Dying your hair was considered a way to keep up with the times.” By changing the hair color from black to something brighter, a person opens up new horizons in the clothes that he could wear. One of the results was a significant change in youth fashion.
